When clients come to see me, they typically present one of five common issues:
- Their baby isn’t sleeping through the night.
- Their baby isn’t napping.
- Their baby is taking short naps.
- Their baby is waking up very early.
- It takes a long time to get their baby to sleep.
All of these issues are equally significant and exhausting. Even if I were to ask you whether you’d prefer your baby to wake up six times a night or take 30-40 minute naps during the day, you’d likely hesitate before answering. Being woken up at night is certainly challenging, but when your baby doesn’t nap during the day, it can be just as draining and problematic. Not only is your baby missing out on crucial rest, but as the caregiver, you also lose the valuable time you could use to accomplish other tasks or simply enjoy a bit of “me time.” This often leads parents to rely on screen time, as the demands of continuous caregiving can become too difficult. I must also point out something that I noticed about myself – when I was going through this, I became obsessed with scrolling on my phone and neglecting time with my son. I felt it was so difficult to be present when he just wouldn’t go down for his naps because it was all day, everyday and every night. So it created an addiction in me, which in itself is super bad.
While mothers are capable of handling many things, they shouldn’t have to stretch themselves to the breaking point. If this resonates with you, let’s take a closer look at the causes of short naps and explore some solutions you can start implementing.
Reminder of Sleep Cycles
I want to emphasise that the concept of “sleeping through the night” is a bit of a misconception. As humans, we all experience what are known as sleep cycles, which consist of four key stages for adults (and two for newborns). During these cycles, we transition from light sleep to deep sleep and back again.
Regarding short naps, it’s crucial to understand that it generally takes about 40 to 50 minutes to complete a single sleep cycle. This is likely why your little one is experiencing short naps. now, let’s explore this further!
Reasons for Short Naps
Baby is not falling asleep where they are waking up
This is a common issue I encounter with my clients. Life often gets in the way, and many parents express that they just want their baby to fall asleep quickly, leading them to opt for contact napping and transferring the baby once they’re asleep.
Putting your baby in their crib for naps in their nursery is an essential step toward achieving long, restful daytime sleep. Imagine this: if you fell asleep in your bedroom and later woke up in the living room, it would be challenging to fall back asleep; you might feel the need for some reassurance to relax again. Babies face a similar dilemma, and it can be even harder for them because they don’t understand the situation! When they fall asleep in a car seat or stroller and then wake up slightly at the end of their first sleep cycle, they often find it difficult to go back to sleep.
Whenever possible, try to lay your little one down in their crib while they are still awake, so they can fall asleep in the same spot where they’ll wake up. Creating this association will help them return to sleep more easily when they stir or wake up after a sleep cycle.
Baby is Dependent on Sleep Props
This is relatable to the point above, but I want to highlight it for anyone whose baby may be napping in the crib yet still waking up after a short time.
Let’s say you’re putting your baby down for their naps in the crib, but you’re helping them fall asleep first then you will face the same issue. Common methods of “helping” a baby drift off include rocking, shushing, singing, feeding or nursing them to sleep.
While these techniques may seem effective initially, they provide only a temporary fix to the problem. The baby very soon becomes reliant on these “props” to fall asleep, and soon enough, they struggle to do so without them meaning your days and nights will be longer. When they wake up at the end of their first sleep cycle, they find themselves needing that prop again to return to sleep. If it’s not readily available, they can become upset, start crying, and get worked up, making it nearly impossible for them to fall back asleep.
Baby is Not Sleeping in the Right Environment
During the day, conditions for sleep are generally not as favourable as they are at night. Not only is it because they do not have the sleepy hormone (melatonin) in them, but with the brightness of daylight, traffic noise, neighbours mowing their lawns, creaky floors and the occasional doorbell ring from delivery drivers, it becomes even more challenging when it comes to daytime sleep.
The two most valuable recommendations I can offer for creating a nap-friendly nursery are to use a white noise machine (if environmental noise is a concern) and to install blackout blinds so your baby can sleep in complete darkness and I mean, pitch black.
If you live in a quiet area, the white noise machine may be optional. Although many believe it has a calming effect, in my experience, its primary function is to mask sudden noises that could wake the baby.
On the other hand, blackout blinds are absolutely essential if you do not have shutters. Light, particularly sunlight, triggers cortisol production, so it’s crucial to keep the nursery as dark as possible – pitch black is best. The closer you can achieve that level of darkness, the better, and blackout blinds are an effective way to accomplish this. They don’t need to be elaborate; they just need to be functional.
Baby is Overtired
This one is quite funny – it is quite popular for people to think that if their child is tired enough during the day then they will sleep well at night. However, like many aspects of parenting, the reality is very different. An overtired baby is extremely difficult to settle and causes a lot more wakes. Although this does sound contradictory, the reality of parenting is a bit more complex.
There’s a widespread belief that the more exhausted we are, the more inclined our bodies will be to sleep. In truth, when we delay sleep and become “overtired,” our bodies interpret this as a signal to stay awake and respond by increasing cortisol production and stopping melatonin. Both of these responses can significantly disrupt the ability to achieve deep, restful sleep. We want to place the baby in the crib when they show signs of tiredness, but it’s also important not to let them stay awake for too long for this reason. I understand that adhering to a baby’s sleep schedule can be challenging, but if you consistently notice 30-40 minute naps, it might be time to get a bit strict with your timing, at least for a couple of weeks.
In Conclusion
For those of you who read the “Would you rather…” scenario at the start of this post and thought, “I’d choose either option! Here’s some fantastic news. Addressing daytime nap challenges will significantly improve their nighttime sleep issues as well. They complement one another. Learning to self-soothe is a skill they can utilise day and night, and having good daytime naps will prevent your baby from becoming overtired by bedtime. This will make it much easier for them to fall asleep and stay asleep throughout the night.
So, to answer your question – there is absolutely no need to choose between nighttime awakenings and short naps. With some effort and commitment, the only decision you’ll have to make is how to spend the free time you’ll have while your baby enjoys those long, restorative daytime naps.