I had looked forward to becoming a mother for a long time. But in reality, I mostly felt like I was just surviving, rather than enjoying motherhood the way I had imagined. My lack of sleep – and all the knock-on effects of that, like constant exhaustion and struggling to relax – was really at the heart of it.
When I reached out to Aya, I felt like a wreck. I was depleted, constantly in a brain fog, my mood was all over the place, and my nervous system felt permanently on high alert. My 8-month-old daughter and I were co-sleeping, she was waking twice a night, and our mornings started unhumanly early.
It’s now been two months since we did the sleep training, and it is honestly the best decision I’ve made as a mother.
Everything changed after those few days. I now feel relaxed as a mother and I have the energy to truly be present and playful with my daughter.
I was initially very sceptical about sleep training. It didn’t sound like the nurturing approach to motherhood that I wanted to embody. I worried it might negatively affect my bond with my daughter or her sense of secure attachment. There’s also so much misinformation on social media about sleep training damaging your child, not supporting secure attachment, or involving leaving your baby to cry until their nervous system “shuts down”.
But that was not my experience at all.
Not once did I feel like I wasn’t nurturing my daughter, or that what we were doing wasn’t also beneficial for her. In fact, within just three days she was sleeping through the night – it was a truly groundbreaking transformation for our whole family.
Before working with Aya, I didn’t even realise you could actively help your child develop independent sleep skills – especially the ability to comfortably fall back asleep on their own when they wake during the night. I had assumed you either had a “good sleeper” or a “bad sleeper”, and you just had to live with it.
Working with Aya completely changed that belief.
Aya herself was also wonderful to work with. Her approach is clear and straightforward, but also flexible enough to adapt to what feels right for each family. She was incredibly sensitive to what I was going through, patient with my questions, and always available and supportive throughout the process.
For anyone who feels the way I did – exhausted, overwhelmed, and wondering how long you can keep going like this – I truly hope you give yourself the chance to do this training.
I wish this for every mother. Because when we are rested, we can show up so much more fully for our children.